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This letter is for those parents who are asking themselves if MTCYR is the right placement for their son. I hope our story helps you with your decision, one way or the other.
This is a follow up letter to the one previously sent to MTCYR after "J" had spent one year at the ranch.
Those last months at MTCYR helped "J" grow not only in his Christian faith but in faith of himself. He became a mentor for the other boys at the ranch. His love and respect for the staff at MTCYR grew as he matured under their love and guidance.
"J" came home with not only higher self esteem, but a sound knowledge of the ranching business, and a deep insight on troubled youth. He has a sensitivity and compassion towards youth around him who are struggling. He can tell when kids are having a rough time, those who will make it or those who will not.
"J" spent almost 18 months at MTCYR. I was frightened for him when he came home, but so desperately wanted him back in our lives again. Jerry Schneider counseled us on what to expect, ground rules and red flags to look for. I went from door way to door way in our home, asking God to bless this house and to make it a refuge from the enemy. I prayed for strength and guidance on this next chapter in our lives.
I was lucky enough to become close to "J's" roommate’s mom. I believe she was a gift from God to help us transition back to our lives with "J".. Our frequent phone calls and emails helped her too, as her son came home 6 months after "J". When a child leaves MTCYR’s program, the staff continues to give support and guidance. Jerry encourages the boys to keep in contact by phone. I have never felt abandoned or alone, ever. I was very aware that they had kept us in their prayers.
Was it hard for "J" when he returned? You bet it was. Having to tell old friends he could no longer hang out with them; trying to establish new friends; sitting on the bench in high school baseball when he’d never sat out an inning, ever. Wanting things “normal” again, but knowing “normal” had a new meaning for "J". "J" was not the same kid he was a year and a half before...a small lifetime for a child.
"J" has been home now 9 months, celebrating his 17th birthday just yesterday. He played in his first football game, ever, the other night. He is giving 100 percent of himself to football and school, a first for him. He spent his birthday bow hunting for deer with his friends. Thank God he has several solid friends who love sports, going fishing, hunting, and the beauty of the nearby mountain and for the parents of these boys who know "J's" story and are supportive and watchful.
Is "J" perfect? No, nor am I. He is a normal 17 year old kid, who makes mistakes, but the anger, the deviant behavior is behind him. Am I afraid for him? Yes. I feel he is still very delicate and we must be watchful and prayerful as parents.
Did we make the right choice? Was it painful? Was the cost worth it? Absolutely. We firmly believe that the choice was no different than if "J" had a threatening disease. Do I feel like a failure as a parent? No. But did we need help and guidance as parents? Absolutely. Would it have been different if we had a different parenting style to begin with? I am not sure. The world around our youth is so destructive. It nibbles at our kid’s self esteem, low self esteem breeds depression then, self medication...alcohol, marijuana, cocaine etc. "J" simply got lost and we did not know how to help him find his way back. Jerry Schneider and the staff at MTCYR do their best to help children like our son find their way back to the child God meant them to be.
I can’t close this letter without stressing enough how important it is to take action way before your child approaches the age of 18. It takes time to help these boys find their way, and if you wait, you will be powerless to help your child. My heart aches for several mothers I have met over these last few years who waited too long...
Respectfully,
Peg
Dear MTCYR Family,
I just wanted to drop a note to ya'll to wish you a great holiday season and to once again thank you for all your devoted work with "J". He is the latest miracle in our lives! God is blessing us and MTCYR when a young man like "J" is literally transformed in all facets of his life. You would be so proud of him, his progress and responsibility, but most proud of his heart and kindness. The work ya'll do at MTCYR is simply ordained and anointed by God and your sacrifice and service is no doubt most pleasing to God. I thank God for you and MTCYR everyday of my life. You all are very special people and are true reflections of our Lord Jesus Christ!
Much Love, "B", "D", "J", "C" & puppies
Dear Parents Considering MTCYR,
We tried everything to help our son. As we went from program to program and therapist to therapist, nothing ever seemed to get any better. We started looking into boot camps, military schools and behavior programs for troubled boys. MTCYR’s program seemed to encompass everything I was searching for – the mountain environment, the horse therapy and the fact that this place seemed as though they would not take any gruff from my son. I knew MTCYR was the right place when Tom George told me, "Our program is based around the relationship Christ had with His mother. We teach the boys here first and foremost to respect their mothers."
Our son has been at MTCYR 10 months now. Huge transformations are taking place in him. I never once looked at his stay at MTCYR as a punishment or our getting rid of him. Rather, I looked at his placement at MTCYR as his time to heal, to find himself and to learn to love himself. I looked at his stay at MTCYR as a Vision Quest.
Yes, the program is quite an investment. Don't wait until it is too late. If you keep thinking, "Oh, it will get better. He will outgrow this", that may not happen. The
staff at MTCYR is truly dedicated to helping these boys turn their lives around. The program at MTCYR is unique and special.
R.D.
(This letter was written to The Department of Family Services in San Bernardino County, the names have been changed to protect the young man that attended MTC Youth Ranch)
Dear Karen,
I'm writing to report the outcome of the summer program our son, “John” experienced at MTC Youth Ranch in Powell Wyoming. “John” has been home now for just over a month and is doing exceptionally well. In my view he's a different young man, with an emphasis on "young man."
As you know, we decided on a residential care program not because he was out of hand, rather to keep our situation from getting to that point. Prior to leaving, “John” was experimenting with drugs and alcohol, his sophomore grades had fallen dramatically and the overheard conversations with his friends were becoming alarming. As well, his diagnosed ADD seemed to be at a peek and medication was absolutely essential to a normal household.
It was the hardest thing my wife and I have ever done. To drive away that June Sunday, not knowing exactly how long he'd be there was heart breaking.
It has proven to be the best decision we could have made. Jerry Schneider and his wife Mickey and the MTCYR staff have created an incredibly effective program there. Not only is it centered on boys leading a Christian life but also developing a strong work ethic, taking responsibility for their actions and learning to depend on teamwork.
“John” describes the routine as rugged and difficult with extreme discipline and highly regimented activities. But he can't wait to call back to staff members at every opportunity to check on how everyone is doing.
MTC Youth Ranch is a full working cattle ranch. The boys learn a great deal about the riggers of ranch life. They ride horses, work farm equipment, cook, and do their own laundry. Recreation was Saturday night Rodeos and occasional pizza nights, but all based on rewards for doing a good job.
Since returning home, “John” has entered a private Christian High School, is attending church and a youth group and has joined the volleyball team. He has signed a contract committing to developing a new peer group, absolutely no drugs or alcohol and greatly improved grades. And so far, he's shown tremendous desire to accomplish his goals. He has gone without medication for more than three months now too.
I cannot say enough about MTC Youth Ranch. And I can't thank the Schneider's and the staff there enough either for helping us turn a potentially dangerous situation into such a positive outcome. If you have other parents facing the same, I can't recommend this program too much. Whether the summer session or full 18-month program. It works!
Jim & Denise
"Joseph" came to MTCYR in May of 1999. He was 15 years old. He had been a model student and son, everyone's friend. In junior high he began to drink in the youth culture, mix with the wrong crowd and rebel against his parents. After being an honors student, on the soccer team, and in student government, he found himself kicked out of the public school in his ninth grade year, having been caught with a knife at school. He had become depressed and was engaged in some amount of self-mutilation. He went from being an A and B student to getting D's and F's in some subjects. With the "help" of a girl friend, he started running away and turned against his family, school authorities, and his faith. He found himself in a dark place and began to contemplate suicide with his girl friend. Joseph and his family were truly in a place of despair. We wondered where our son had gone, who had abducted him and replaced him with this imposter. We tried boarding schools and counselors, but the problems only seemed to worsen. We had heard of MTCYR through close friends who knew the founders of MTCYR. We decided to try it because we thought we were going to lose our son forever.
MTCYR made a radical difference in Joseph's life. Within a matter of a month, Joseph went from being a depressed and angry young man to becoming a motivated and enthusiastic student of horses. He found a connection, a strong bond, in the animals and in nature. It triggered something powerful in Joseph that all could see early on. Through his new love of horses, riding, and the cowboy culture, Joseph grew in his confidence in himself, hope for his future, and reconciliation toward his parents. He began to take more of an active interest in others, in his faith, in school. He received mostly straight A's, graduated from high school a year early, developed a strong sense of self and of leadership skills. He has become a man through hard work, healthy relationships in the school, and self-motivated study. Joseph excelled in horsemanship, and worked on a ranch near MTCYR after graduation. He has worked at a bed and breakfast ranch, working with horses, taking guests on rides, and tending the stables and hay fields. He finished a semester of college in equine studies, but he decided he wanted to be a Marine and enlisted last year. Soon, he will graduate from Marine basic training in San Diego, California. MTCYR set Joseph on a journey of discovery of love of self, family and country.
The benefits of MTCYR are not to be found in Joseph alone, but in his relationship with his family, with his parents and siblings. The experience of MTCYR has spilled over into Joseph's family and has provided an example of strength, hope and love to all. We brought Joseph to MTCYR because we wanted our son back, and although it cost us the loss of his presence at home, we received back our son as a man whose gifts had flourished. He has had a couple of setbacks as young men on their own will, but he has stayed the course and embraced the duties that come with freedom and independence. We are incredibly proud of him and profoundly grateful to MTCYR for their loving and professional approach with our child and his education.
You may use my name and e-mail as a reference for anyone who wishes to contact me.
Scott
It has been one year since we left our son in the care of Loving Staff at MTC Youth Ranch Youth Ranch. And it is now that I can finally write about our experience. My purpose in sharing our story is to give parents hope, if they are going through this painful life journey suffered by many families today.
Our son was always a joy to be around. His laughter, sense of humor, zest for life was inspiring. “Jack” spent his young life living on our farm. He slept hard, played hard, and ate me out of house and home. He did well in school until the 5th grade. From then on it became more of a challenge for him to do his school work. For the next few years his interest in hunting and sports were his only motivation to get by in school. His eighth grade year he had a growth spurt, loosing baby fat, and his coordination at baseball...his love. He struggled to figure out who he was. A hunter, baseball player, a jock or a punk with pocket chains and different colored hair. His friendships changed, as did his behavior. He spent more time in his room alone. He wanted to go into town and be with his friends on weekends. “Jack” battled about attending church and going to confirmation classes. But then, at that point anything “Jack” did not want to do, became a battle of wills.
I knew he was struggling. I prayed. I got him involved in a local youth ministry. Sent him to this ministry’s winter camp and summer camp with people I knew and loved. He was somewhat compliant to my wishes, but bought into nothing this rather charismatic, powerful ministry had to offer.
Then one night in July our neighbor called. “Jack” had broken into their home...with them in bed. He and his friend were not caught in the act, but they heard “Jack’s” voice as he had spent many hours with this family over the years. His alternate life was exposed. He was smoking marijuana, tried cocaine, and was drinking socially. He had become very good at lying when he called us, as requested, when he was in town for an evening. He even started taking our cars out in the middle of the night to drink and drive around the countryside. Mind you “Jack” was just 14 years old. Just fourteen years old... I thought I always knew where he was and what he was doing...but “Jack” had a dark life he was leading, full of lies and deception.
Our neighbors did not want to bring the police into the matter, but I assured them something was going to be done on our end with “Jack”. What, I was not sure. I started a search on the internet. Boy’s school, military schools, wilderness programs... I made phone calls, received packets from various boys’ homes, but did not know what I was going to do until I called MTC Youth Ranch Youth Ranch and talked with Jerry Schneider. Jerry did not try to sell me on his program. He was honest, up front, and very understanding. But most of all he gave me hope that there was help for “Jack”.
“Jack” went through the wilderness program, cow camp, and then went down to the ranch. They found out he could drive tractor. Finding his skill, then lifting “Jack’s” self esteem by taking that small gift and expounding on it. Four months into the program we realized “Jack” deeply loved and respected Jerry. He had connected with some of the other staff as well, but it was Jerry he loved first. Why? It is Jerry’s goal to pray for a love for each boy that comes to the ranch. “Jack” felt that love. Jerry also saw “Jack’s” heart. The heart we knew existed, but that had become clouded with anger.
“Jack did not fully make progress until he examined his relationship with God. The “religious” aspect of the ranch is not always emphasized but powerful. Devotions are said daily, with Mass on Sunday a requirement. Showing the boys right and wrong through the eyes of God. Teaching the boys compassion by praying for others. Though “Jack” had been raised in church, it was not until MTC Youth Ranch that “Jack” learned what life was like living in the fullness of what Christ has to offer.
Through hard work, education, constant reinforcement, but most of all, love, “Jack” is at almost age 16, becoming a man in the best sense of the word.
“Jack” will come home at the end of this year, but a part of his heart will always be with MTCYR in Wyoming.
P. D. |
